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I Am Not a Spoiled Brat

Last week I read something that I felt insulted my intelligence and the intelligence of others.  A piece that put forth the notion that women who worry about their appearance are self indulgent spoiled brats.  I would like to challenge that.

I care about my appearance.

If I don’t like something about myself that is within my personal power to change then I do something about it.

I am not a self indulgent, spoiled brat.

I do not like to have my intelligence insulted.

As I am sure you are aware, one of the reasons I am so passionate about my ‘health conscious’ lifestyle is because I want to be a great role model to my kids.  Teaching them the skills to shape and nurture their growing bodies and minds.  Not just my girls but my boy too.  It is much too much of a generalisation that only women suffer body image issues.  Boys, and men, do too.

 

This is a photo of my back from earlier in the year.  I’m showing it to you because I am proud of it.

Is my self-worth related to that physique?  Yes, because I invested a hell of a lot of hard work into achieving that, but my self-worth hasn’t diminished because it doesn’t look like that anymore.  Am I crying in a corner because it doesn’t look like that right now?  Hell no, my training focus has been different and I know that if I put in the hard work, I could make it look like that again, if that’s what I wanted.  Am I whining about it?  No.

The care I put into my appearance relates to my health, fitness and self confidence.  In turn, these things play a considerable role in my relationships and mental health.  Yes, I do believe that the way we see ourselves in the mirror is intricately related to the way we feel about ourselves and the implication that we are all comparing ourselves to some impossible ideal grates we me like nails on a blackboard.

What makes the distinction between someone with ‘depression and severe body image issues’ and a ‘pork chop’?  I ask.  Where is the line between exercise and nutrition for heath and for aesthetics?  Who cares if your training program is related to aesthetics, I want better shoulder definition again.  That does not make me an uncaring shit.

I don’t believe that the desire to look a certain way is a new thing and pressure from advertising and the media is driving us on a never ending quest for youth and beauty.  Sure, some people are influenced more than others but to say that pressure is constant and that we all buy in to it is bullshit.  I want that shoulder definition back because I like being able to trace it with my finger and I love the way it looks.

Step back thousands of years to the ancient Egyptians, for example, they clearly took great pride in beauty and possessions.  They didn’t have outside influencers telling them how they should look.  The search for the fountain of youth has been ongoing as long as there is recorded history.  Likewise, not all cultures see being larger than size 6 with wrinkles as imperfection.

Take the girl of African descent who wants to lead a conventionally healthy lifestyle.  She eats appropriate portions of fresh rather than fried food and takes herself off to the gym or for a regular jog.  She’s probably got her mother, grandmother, sisters and six aunties telling her that her ass is too skinny and she’s never going to find herself a husband.  To be fat is to be wealthy in many cultures.

Take the half Asian half Anglo girl who’s grandmother has told her she’s tubby all her life despite the fact she is perfectly healthy.  She’s also twice her grandmother’s height and looks more like her father than her mother.  Genetics also gave her his metabolism.

Take the lovely Latino who is not seen, culturally as beautiful because despite her gorgeous face she does not have rounded hips and ass.  She just got the ‘wrong’ body shape for her cultural background, so even when she pumps out hundreds of squats every day her butt still looks like it needs implants as far as she is concerned.  It’s a similar story for women of Mediterranean descent.

These are examples taken not from the media, but from culture.  Are we fighting thousands of years of history, is it actually just the way it is?

Here in Australia we have a very narrow view of the world and what body image means.  A narrow view of what advertising and the media are supposedly telling us we have to look like. 

Right now I am on a bit of mission to restore my body to where it was 3 months ago.  I was having a bit of a laugh with some ladies the other night about how preposterous that must seem when I’m standing in front of you.  Truth is my pants are a bit tight, I’m a bit more lethargic and my digestion is a bit sluggish compared to what I had become used to.  That feeling of being immovable has diminished.

I’m not self indulgent because I want to feel great.  If I feel great then I’m much better equipped to give more of myself.  For me and, no doubt, the vast majority of the population (both men and women) feeling confident in our appearance goes hand in hand with feeling great.

My wanting to lean down a bit has absolutely no context with regard to the plight of abused and oppressed women.  Please do not insult my intelligence by suggesting I am less humane because I value myself and my perception of my own personal appearance.  Placing value on both my intellect and appearance gives me dignity and strength which, in turn, only enhances my ability to help those less fortunate than myself.

Having a positive self image isn’t just about ‘sucking it up’, telling yourself to get over yourself and learning to love yourself just the way you are.  It’s about investing time and energy in yourself.  Taking steps to ensure that you are healthy.  Eating well, exercising, being kind to yourself emotionally, taking time to reflect and allowing yourself to evolve.  From my perspective, that is where a great image of self is created. 

The things that make us who we are, they are actually so much more than what our body looks like and I’m pretty sure that majority of us already know that.  It’s more a matter of focusing on the stuff we love and using those positives to make the changes we want to see in ourselves.  Wanting to change is okay, so is the desire to stay the same.

I’d love to hear what you think.

Tatum xx

Sharing the Stage

I don't know about you but there are times when I wonder about people.  I wonder about why people are often so quick to judge and are more likely to find something harsh to say than words of kindness.

Perhaps we, as a society generally, have become lazy and it is just easier to build ourselves up by dragging others down?

And then, on Monday night, I watched the Brownlow count.

I retold the story of what I saw several times on Tuesday.  Each time it gave me goosebumps and brought me close to tears.  The end of the count, Round 23 is something I will sit my children down to watch.  It epitomised values I want to instill in them.

Watching  the completely genuine way in which Gary Ablett Jnr would have preferred to share Charlie with his former teammate than be standing on the stage alone was something I will remember forever.  It is not something you see often in today's dog eat dog society.

Life should be about lifting people up not dragging them down.  Asking a question rather than assuming.  Looking for the best in people not picking on their faults.

Life should be about giving your best but being humble and amazed.

Life should be about celebrating equally both your own achievements and the achievements of others.

Life should be about taking joy from sharing the stage.

Did you watch the end of the Brownlow count?  Did it give you tingles too?

Tatum xx

Why all the focus on body image anyway?

It is peculiar looking at photos of me from before 2011.  I see myself looking rounder than I am now but I don’t recall feeling bad about the way I looked or who I was.  There is one set of photos in particular, where I was probably at my non-pregnant heaviest, and I know that I felt content and great about myself that day.

If you are following Make It Look Easy you might have noticed that I had something to say about body image this morning. 

My Facebook newsfeed has become a constant barrage of body image related stuff and it is driving me nuts, I’ve been deleting and unliking left, right and centre. 

How is it that so much of how a woman feels about herself is supposed to be related to what her body looks like without clothes on.  Perhaps it’s because there are entire industries built around women’s perception and self perception and it works in their favour for ‘poor body image’ to be a thing.

Why do we not spruik about negative intellectual image?  Through both genetics and socio-demographics each of us starts life intellectually in a certain place.  Through a series of events, called life, stuff happens.  Dependant on your personal goals, investment in yourself, support network and sheer determination, amongst other things, you can change your path forward.

I don’t see airbrushed images on social media proclaiming that a uni degree is the new welfare payment.  I suspect that the size and marketability of the education industry compared to the diet and fitness industry has a whole lot to do with it.  The diet and fitness industries thrive on ‘negative female body image’ and you know what, dependant on your personal goals, investment in yourself, support network and sheer determination, amongst other things, you can change the way your body looks too.

There is a constant stream of criticism directed, largely, at the media and fashion industry for portraying ‘ideal’ women that give the rest of us mere mortals body image issues.  I realise I’m putting myself on a slippery slope when I suggest that nobody nice actually gets up and says that women need to look that way, it’s more a pressure that we put on ourselves.  If you have someone in your life who suggests that you are less of a person because you don’t look a certain way then perhaps you need to take a long hard look at whether you need them around.

I feel that the line become good body image and good health has become blurred.  I’m potentially going to slide a bit more by saying that I don’t think it is okay use body image as an excuse for poor health choices.  These things should be mutually exclusive.  It is entirely possible to feel great about the way you look but be completely unhealthy, that goes for people of all sorts of shapes and sizes.  Likewise you can be the picture of health and still not love the way you look. 

We women really are such a complicated species, it’s no wonder most men can’t hope to understand us.

Earlier in the year I remember a bit of hullabaloo about the expectations placed on a Victoria’s Secret model in the lead up to a runway show.  There was a fair whack of criticism but the reality is those ladies on the catwalk are fit, healthy and blessed with a genetic, and probably socio-demographic, background that make it easier for them to look like that compared to a different subset of the population.  Looking like that takes a hell of a lot of hard work and targeted nutrition and it would be immensely difficult to do so living on water and lettuce leaves and never exercising.

Anyway, I digress.  I watched and I was impressed.  I didn’t see flashing signs saying that is the way we are all expected to look.  I must have missed the memo somewhere along the line that society as a whole expects my body to look a certain way.  I know I certainly don’t place that expectation on myself or other women.  However, I know I am in the minority in that respect and I have been putting a lot of thought in to why that is.

I think that the need to ‘promote positive body image’ is acknowledging that there is a way that women are ‘supposed’ to look.  To me our actual body shape and size is an outcome of genetics, what we eat, exercise, sleep, emotional wellbeing and other things, some of them beyond our control.  Instinctively I think we know the difference between feeling healthy and not.  When we know that we aren’t eating a balanced diet, are over indulging a little too often, not exercising regularly or sleeping enough our bodies suffer.

I know that I feel significantly different internally when I have been eating more sugar or drinking more alcohol than usual, not eating enough fresh veggies and not exercising as often as I would like to.  It means I feel less comfortable in my body because I don’t have the same feeling of wellness as usual.  This is exacerbated if I’m not getting enough sleep or having my head not quite in the right place.  I might look in the mirror and give myself a kick up the bum to get my eating and/or exercise in order, for me, but it’s not because I feel I should look different it’s because I want to feel different internally.  Engaging in a mental war with yourself about the way your body looks it is not conducive to getting back to a comfortable balance

Where is this going and what am I getting at?  The message I am aiming to get across is simple.  Setting goals around the size and shape of your body is a headfuck, it is actually not something that you can completely control so attempting too is madness. 

• Concentrate on eating a balanced diet of fresh and whole foods, keep processed foods, refined sugar and alcohol for sometimes. 
• Exercise regularly; there is overwhelming evidence to say it is good for you. 
• Get enough sleep, that makes the first two things a whole lot easier.

Look in the mirror and see the things that make you who you are, such a small percentage of that should come from what you look like naked but, if you love what you see, that’s only going to heighten how you feel about the rest.

If you love cake, then god damn well eat it, just make sure it's good cake!

I love this comment shared on my Make It Look Easy post.  Words to live by I say, thankyou Naomi.

I open up the floor to you, what do you think?

The Mammogram Myth

As a follow up to 20 questions with my sister Sam about everything breast exam I wanted to take things a bit further and ask her some questions about the dreaded mammogram.  If you the post about breast self exam you can find it here.

From what I hear the mammogram brings fear to women like the prostate check used to for men, so let's unveil some of the mystery that surrounds mammograms.  Here's what Sam had to say :)

First timers usually come into the mammogram room looking absolutely terrified, and, of course you would.  There are so many horror stories circulating out there that it just scares people off. The truth is it's not that bad, I know, I've been in the machine.

For starters, does it really feel like having your boobs slammed in a fridge door?

Has anyone actually ever slammed their boobs in a fridge door??? I'm thinking no, because it would hurt. A lot. People, however, have actually had mammograms, and guess what? They survived.

I'm not going to lie, a mammogram is uncomfortable, it is an unnatural position for your breast to be in, it should not, however, be painful.  If it is, tell your tech, they should stop applying pressure.  If you are prone to tenderness just prior to or during your period, I would suggest going at a different time of the month because that is going to increase your level of discomfort.

So on a scale of 1-10, where 5 is a pap smear…how does it rate in terms of discomfort?

I'd say 5, lets face it neither of them are a walk in the park, but at the end of the day they are just things that have to be done.

What actually happens when you have a mammogram?

A Mammo consists of four pictures, two on each breast.  The first position is a straight up and down squash, the second is a more side ways squash.  The idea is to compress the breast tissue so that

a) you can keep it nice and still for it's photo and

b) spread out the breast tissue to make sure nothing is hiding in amongst it.

When should women start having mammograms, and how often?  Are there some people who should start having them earlier than others?

Breastscreen send all ladies a letter when they turn 50 inviting them for their first mammogram (woohoo! A free boob squash for your birthday!), they will continue to invite you every second year until you are 70 after that you have to book yourself in.

At 40 you can ring up breast screen yourself and start booking yourself in for mammograms they are still free they just won't invite you, you have to remember for yourself, and that is what I would be doing.  If you have a family history 35 is a reasonable age for your first mammo.

What are you actually looking at when you perform a mammogram?  How early would a mammogram typically ‘see’ a lump before you would feel it?

The radiologist is basically looking for a disruption in the breast tissue that shouldn't be there.  They can be seen much sooner than they can be felt MOST of the time. There are exceptions, and it really does depend on the type of breast cancer. Unfortunately, Breast Cancer can be missed on a mammogram.

The stats on breast cancer are fairly high in term of how many women it affects, what are the main risk factors or are we all equally prone?

Genetic predisposition is certainly a large risk factor, however in terms of other risk factors there is much research still going on in this area, much like any other cancer.

If a lump is found, what happens next?

Next we work out what the lump is. Usually this will mean extra mammogram views (though extra views don't necessarily mean that we have discovered something nasty with in your breast! Don't freak out if the tech comes back for more pictures, it could well mean we took a crappy picture, or that we just need to prove that something isn't there.) Next on to ultrasound, if the lump is visable with ultra sound and we are still not able to determine exactly what it is then you will have a biopsy.

More great information from Sam.  I hope that you have found these posts as informative as I have. 

Given that breasts are Sam's area of speciality as a radiographer feel free to ask her any other questions you might have about breast self exam, mammograms or breast ultrasound here or send me an email and I can pass it on to her!

Tatum xx

Lumps, Bumps & Feeling Yourself Up

Once upon a time I actually had a bit of a rack.  Then I started running again, combine that with weight training and a clean up of what I was eating and these days I am flat chested at best.

A combined six years of breastfeeding + four pregnancies definitely took their toll on my puppies too.  However, it doesn't make it any less important that I undertake regular breast self exam.  In reality all the changes to my body have sent my hormones a little haywire so it is possibly more important than ever before that I am diligent.

The last week has been a reminder to me about how important it is that we ladies take ourselves off to our doctor when we are concerned about something.  I thought it would be a good time to share a couple of posts I put together a few years ago together with my sister Sam.

To be honest I was kind of clueless in the area of breast self exam.  I always get my GP to check them out when I have my bi-annual pap smear and feel them regularly myself however I'm not completely sure I'm doing it the right way.

I had a few questions I felt too embarrased to ask anyone until it occured to me that my sister Sam is actually an expert in the area so I asked her if she would be kind enough to answer a few questions for me here :)

Sam is mum to two gorgeous girls and her husband Luke is lucky enough to be my brother in law ;)  Sam is a radiographer with postgraduate qualification in breast ultrasound.  When she's not mumming, wifeing, running or radiographing she's probably sewing something lovely for her business Verri Charmed.

A funny thing about Radiography, is that you often get asked mid procedure “Is this what you do all day?”  I used to feel a little annoyed whenever I was asked as it felt a bit demeaning, like my job was not at all interesting or difficult, after 10 years in this profession I no longer feel that way.  In fact, now that I am primarily a Breast sonographer/ mammographer, I really do understand why I am asked this question with such incredulousness.  But, now I answer with pride, “Yes, yes, I do indeed look at boobs all day long.....”.

How often should we self examine?

Doing a self breast examination once a month is a good start, though while some suggest picking a certain date, like the first of the month, it's actually best to avoid mid menstral cycle.  In other words, do it after your period.  The reason is that your breasts tend to be at their most lumpy and tender just prior to and during your period, which is all completely normal, but it makes it much harder to self examine.

When should we start?

NOW. Trust me when I say that onset of breast cancer in one's 20's was not limited to the beautiful Belinda Emmett.

How do you go about it?

The shower is a good place, considering you are usually already nude (right?). Put your right arm up above your head make your left hand flat and firmly, using circular motions examine the right breast one area at a time (it maybe best to think of it as a clock face, 12 o'clock being the area directly above your nipple) making sure you cover the breast in it's entirity. 

Don't leave out your arm pit, check for lumps up there too. Then switch to the other side.

Boobs are pretty lumpy things anyway, how do you tell the difference between the lumps that are supposed to be there and the ones that aren’t?

I often hear from patients “Oh I don't self examine, I leave it up to the GP, my boobs are so lumpy I can't tell what is what”.  Yep, boobs are lumpy suckers, that is how they are made.  There are two kinds of tissue in the breast glandular tissue, the active stuff that does all the work, it's the tough fibrous stuff, and then we have a nice smooth fatty layer coating over the top.

In some parts of the breast we have more of the glandular stuff than other parts with less fat on top and that's why they feel lumpy.  That's why it's so important to check regularly, it gives you (the owner of the boobs) time to work out which lumps are always there, then if something new crops up, you will recognise it.  GP's are awesome but it's really hard for them to know if something is new for you if they haven't examined you for a year.

What do lumps typically feel like?

This is a hard one, lumps can feel all sorts of different ways.  As you'd expect, in my job I am directed to feel many different lumps, and more often than not I can tell what something is going to be before I start imaging.  BUT, there are times when I'm surprised, and that's what makes it hard.

A benign (non-cancerous lump) is more like to feel smooth and round and be a little mobile with in your breast.  A nasty lump will general feel harder, grittier and will not be mobile.  However, ANY new lump should ALWAYS be checked. It's not silly, it's smart and thorough.

Do lumps have any pain associated with them or are there any external changes to look for?

The most common benign lumps are cysts and they often do have some tenderness associated with them, cancer, however doesn't usually present with any tenderness. At times when cancer is present there can be a slight tethered or dimpled appearance to the skin associated with the region.  Or, if there is nipple involvement the nipple may become inverted (though that can just be a normal occurance too!).

How much does family history play a part?

If you have a family history you should be extra vigilant with your checking. You can even start your mammograms at 35 if you have a young family history.  Unfortuanately I see so many people who have or have had breast cancer that have no family history what so ever, someone always has to be the first.

Should we be checking anywhere else at the same time?

Don't forget those arm pits!!! You are looking for smooth round lumps there..

Anything else that you would like to tell us or any resources you might like to share?

Men are not exempt from breast cancer, they should check too, especially if they have a family history.

Boobs are tricky things and breast cancer can present in so many different ways that checking is just not an exact science, but if you are vigilant, you will have the best chance of catching it early.

Thankyou so much Sam for sharing with me.

I hope that you have all gotten as much from this as I have!  As a follow up I have asked Sam to unveil some of the mystery surrounding the mammogram.

Tatum xx