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Following Through

Don’t you love it when things are new and exciting?  Whether it is a new project, goal, study or just a job that you really have to get done sometimes it can be hard following things through right to the end.

Remember all those weeks ago how I said I needed to clean out my walk in wardrobe.  It’s still not done.

Our garden beds?  The bases are roughly put together but there is nothing growing there yet.

At the same time there are plenty of things I am ticking off my list, my first new bit of study, check.  New business plans, check…although that is a work in progress, I’ve broken it down in to smaller manageable chunks so I don’t overwhelm myself. 

Am I a big believer in finishing what you start?  Yes and no.  If it’s important to you and your loved ones then yes it is important not to wander off and investigate shiny, sparkly new things when the going gets tough or we get a bit bored.  That’s when we need to give ourselves a kick in the bum and push through to the end.

However, there are times when you know that you have embarked on the wrong path.  Something we thought to be the right thing at the time may actually turn out to be a bad fit.  That’s cool, in those sorts of situations it’s important to be able to walk away without feeling like a failure.  It’s better to own it than continue down the wrong path for you just to save face.

Whilst cleaning out my wardrobe is not exactly life changing, it was enough to get me thinking about finishing things you start and how to make it to the end when you lose momentum.

Make time in your diary.  This is something important, make appointments with yourself to get it done.  Make this time a priority and whenever possible avoid scheduling in another commitment in its place.

Remove distractions.  If it’s study related or you need to use the computer then turn of your internet or install a site blocker to help stop you procrastinating.  Likewise don’t let other tasks distract you; we are making this one your focus during your ‘appointment’ with yourself.

Break it down in to smaller tasks.  Sometimes it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by something we have to do or want to do and we can’t quite visualise the end point.  Just the same as when we set goals in the first place, break what needs to be done in to smaller chunks.  Allocate a specific time block to completing each task.

Stop the sabotage.  Unfortunately saboteurs are part of life.  Sometimes we do it to ourselves but there can be other people in our lives who consciously or unconsciously work against us to try and stop us achieving our goals.  If you have people like that in your life it might be time to take a step back from them a little.

Be honest with yourself.  Face up to the fact that there is something or things that you need to finish.  Apply a bit of Nike mentality, give yourself some tough love, get off your ass Just Do It, stop sitting and thinking about it.

Add some entertainment.  Got a million windows or a long, long hallway like I do.  Getting those big spring cleaning jobs done can be quite an undertaking and means that they often fall off the end of the to do list.  Turn on some music and it will be so much easier.  Likewise, indulge in some day time TV while you fold the washing or complete some other task that doesn’t require a whole lot of brain engagement.

Reward yourself.  Sometimes completing what you set out to do is reward enough but with some things we need a little more incentive to get us across the finish line.  Make your reward fit the size of the task you need to complete, I don’t think that I can request diamonds in exchange for getting my wardrobe sorted out!

Have you got something that you want to finish off that is nagging at you?  Use these steps to get it done, it is such a cleansing feeling.

Want to read more about setting goals and achieving them?  You can find all my weekly goals posts together here.

Tatum xx

Falling Short, and Moving Forward

When you are in the habit of regularly setting goals for yourself there is bound to come a time where you will fall short of achieving that which you set for yourself.

This happened to me on Sunday.

It's different to flat out not achieving a goal that you set for yourself.  In this instance I am talking about a situation where you have achieved the endpoint but you have an internal sense of opportunity missed.  You possibly even feel a bit guilty for indulging in that disappointment.

Don't get me wrong here, I am really proud of my actual achievement and the fact I did knock nearly 8 minutes off my previous marathon time.  I am not about to go and cry in the corner and feel sorry for myself.  Sticking your head in the sand and not owning the result is the worst thing that you can do when you don't quite clear the bar you have set for yourself.

I had set my bar really high.

How do we handle a situation where we have fallen short of our goal?  The following steps can be applied to any goal you have set for yourself in any area of your life.  The key focus is continual learning and self evaluation.

Own it.  There is no point sticking your head in the sand, making excuses or blaming others.  You are a grown up after all.  Chalk it up as a learning experience and kick your own ass right back in to action.

Look at what you did well.  We are talking about a situation where you have actually achieved something.  It might not have ticked all of the boxes but you have still had a win.  Take a moment to reflect on the positives and write them down.

Consider what you might have done differently.  Something hasn’t gone according to plan for whatever reason.  What things can you identify that you would have changed if you could go back and do them again.  Include factors that you might have been unable to control.  Identifying these things helps you to build your new action plan.

Set yourself a new goal.  Whether it is similar to the goal you have just achieved or something completely different it is important to keep setting yourself new goals both big and small, short and long term.  This will help to keep you growing and learning. 

Create an action plan.  Use the things you have learned and build them in to your action plan for achieving that new goal.  Whether your new goal is similar or totally different there will be things you have learned from this experience that can be applied to new and different situations.

Whether it’s with a piece of paper or by running through the steps mentally I undertake this little process regularly and apply it to most areas of my life.  It really helps me to maintain a positive outlook and to keep moving forward.  I’ve already been through the process to analyse my performance last Sunday and will apply what I learned to the other similar goals I have already set for myself this year. 

Katrina shared this wonderful post about perception, reality and the power of positive thinking earlier in the 

week, pop over and have a read.  I think that it compliments this process of self evaluation perfectly.  She talks about putting positive energy in to the things you can control and not letting the stuff beyond your control weigh you down.  Such an important perspective to keep in mind when you start down the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve path.

How are you tracking with the goals you set for yourself in 2013?  Have you experienced the disappointment that sometimes comes when you feel that you have fallen short of your own goal?

Tatum xx 

Dare to Dream Big

You know that idea your have had rattling around in your head, the nagging one.  It’s something that you want do but don’t really know where to start.  Let me help you, all you need is 15 minutes, a pen and a piece of paper and you are away.  It is amazing what a difference it can make to clarify your path forward once you have had a little brain storming session.

Sit down somewhere quiet and undistracted.  I find that having a coffee date with myself and my journal is a great way to get some thoughts on paper when my head is in a bit of a jumble.

Start in the centre of the page.  Write down what it is you want to do.  Scary part over, it’s out there now.

Now let’s make what you want to do more specific.  For example ‘Go to uni and get a degree’ is pretty airy fairy compared to ’Start studying law part time at Adelaide Uni in 2014’.

Next consider whether that goal is achievable.  Make some notes by asking yourself questions like, but not limited to:

• Do I currently have the time available to me to do this?
• How could I make the time to do this?
• Is it financially within my grasp within that time period?
• How will I come up with the money to do it?
• Am I physically capable of doing this?
• How would I prepare myself for the challenge?
• What things do I need to change to make this happen?
• Will I need someone to help me achieve this?

When you are thinking about whether your goal is achievable look for solutions within the questions you ask yourself rather than setting up roadblocks.  Each of these hurdles can become a smaller goal in itself and will help to form the pathway to achieving the end result.  If you centre your questions around the central idea of ‘How am I going to get there?’ then you will be mapping a pathway as you go.

Think about whether your goal is realistic.  This is different to whether it is achievable.  Here you are checking to make sure that there isn’t a showstopper.  Unfortunately what is realistically achievable for one person in not necessarily realistic for the next and these things are often outside of our control.  If there is something significant that stands in your way go back and redefine the end goal to reflect something that is realistically achievable.  Things may change and your redefined endpoint may become a stepping stone on the patch to your larger goal.

Make sure you add a time frame to your goal.  With my initial specific statement I gave a start point but not an endpoint.  Adding a ‘by when’ clause will give you more scope to visualise yourself at that goal.  Add milestones to your goal path, these will come from the questions you asked yourself about the goal being achievable.  Make some notes in your diary relating to smaller milestones and the to do list you have probably generated.

Finally consider how you will measure yourself.  Completing that law degree would be an obvious answer to my initial example but you might like to expand on that and add how you want to use that degree.

Dare to dream, it really is amazing what you can set in motion for yourself over a quiet cuppa.

Tatum xx

Goal Setting 201

Last week I talked about goal setting and the SMART philosophy behind setting goals.  I shared my goals for 2013 on my personal blog, in case you are curious to know what I am planning for myself this year. 

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, setting these goals for yourself, writing them down and sharing them with people who are important to you is only part of the story in terms of actually achieving those goals.  The goal is an endpoint and as for all destinations there is going to be a bit of a journey to get there.  Today I am going to talk about getting from where we are today, with those goals set and written down, to where we want to be in a week, a month or a year from now.

Let’s take each goal individually now.  Start with it written at the top of the page.  Does it seem overwhelming?  In the back of your mind are you unsure that it is something you can actually achieve?

First thing, stop the negative self talk and say yes to yourself.  ‘Yes, I can do this, I deserve this, I want this badly enough to make it happen’.  If you can’t say those things to yourself about your goal you may want to re-evaluate that endpoint and set yourself a different initial goal.  There is nothing wrong with that, these are your goals remember.

With that goal written at the top of the page I want you to brainstorm all the things you can think of that you will need to do or put in place to enable you to achieve that goal.  You might not think of everything now and there is always scope to add, subtract and re-evaluate the steps as you go. 

Personally, I find the brainstorming part of the process really exciting.  Thinking and scribbling notes then dreaming about what I can achieve, I just love it.

Now we want to use your brainstorming notes to break the goal down in to a series of steps.  One thing you may have noticed in what Lauren had to say on Sunday is that when she focused on the 50kg as ten 5kg pieces rather than the seemingly insurmountable weight loss became much more achievable in her mind.  Defining a series of steps and smaller milestones on the path is a key.

If there isn’t a process involved with achieving your goal and you could pop out and do it right now then consider whether is a goal for the year or something that belongs on your to do list.  A goal should absolutely be specific but usually there will be a few steps to get you there.

For example: In 2013 I want to go indoor rock climbing with my family regularly, that is something on my to do list not a goal.  However, it would fit probably within the process of achieving one of my goals for the year.

Next take everything that you have brainstormed and put them in to some sort of order.  Put the things that you will need in the order you will need to do them in and add any smaller milestones that you are want to achieve on the way to your larger goal.  Milestones are effective in helping us to see how we are tracking in relation to the larger goal.

Next grab your diary and planner, ideally our goals should be time based.   I find month to a page to be useful for planning the path to achieving a goal so you may want to start with some printed month to a page sheets with plenty of room to write on.  Here is a printable month to a page you can download.

Write your goal on the calendar.  Fill in any smaller milestones that you have identified then add further detail by planning the steps.  Consider how you are going to measure your progress.

Here are a couple of examples of goal planning in action:

Let’s take the marathon I am planning on running this year, remember your goal doesn’t have to be running a marathon, this is just a demonstration of the planning principles.  It is the same process that I used for planning my marathon training last year and the same as I use at work when I start a new project.

The marathon is on July 7^th so I started with that on the calendar then I found some milestone events that would help me measure how I was tracking from a race perspective.  These are in April and May so I added them next. 

I downloaded a marathon training plan matched to the time I am aiming to achieve to use as a guide for planning my weekly training, this gave me 20 weeks of marathon training plus 8 weeks of pre season.  I counted back 28 weeks and started planning my weekly training in to my training diary.  At this stage I also add in the long weekend runs.

Towards the end of each month I sit down with my training plan, mine and Steven’s work calendars and my diary and pencil in each of my training sessions.  As the new month progresses I measure my progress by writing in times or just giving a training session a tick.  Planning ahead like this helps to add variety and keep me moving forward. 

Now let’s look at a non fitness related example, the big veggie garden project we are undertaking this year.  To be honest I haven’t gotten to the diarising point yet, I am waiting for us to be sitting down as a family to do this so that everyone feels more invested in the project.  However, I have a good idea of what the plan looks like.

My end date for our backyard farm project is the end of 2013, a full year’s cycle.  The major thing that needs to be done is building the beds.  We won’t need to plant everything all at once so building, reticulating and filling them can be staggered to keep to a more consistent budget, both in terms of money and time. 

To determine when we would like to have each bed ready to go by we need to decide what we want to plant and then use a calendar to see when is the best time to plant those things.  Because we will be growing from seed we also need to allow time for raising seeds before we want to plant the seedlings. 

There are also other things that are part of this project like making compost, having a worm farm and I know that the kids are really keen to have a scarecrow, all these things will be part of our garden plan too.  To measure our garden progress I’ll be taking plenty of photos and journaling about what we have done.  I will be encouraging the kids to write their own journals of our gardening activities too.

How are you feeling about the goals you have set for yourself at present?  Excited, apprehensive or downright scared?  Are you ready to pen to paper and put a plan in place to make them happen?

I’ll be posting each month about goals and sharing tips for staying on track, re-evaluating and not becoming weighed down by the things you are trying to achieve.

Tatum xx

On The Couch With - My Sister Lauren

Welcome to Sunday evening.  I hope that you have had a fabulous weekend.  Mine has been nice and relaxing, the crazy of christmas and new year is starting to become a distant memory and we have been enjoying some important family time.

Because it's Sunday I'm giving my voice a rest and introducing you to someone, here on my couch.

This week I wanted to introduce you to someone who is an absolute rock in my life.  She has been incredibly supportive of me over the last year and I'm not sure what I would do without her.

Please welcome Lauren Boase to the couch.  She is a pretty damn inspirational lady having transformed both herself and her lifestyle tremendously in the last two years.  If you happen to read the sunday paper you may well have spotted her last weekend! 

I asked her to share some of her story, outline how she set goals for herself and tell us about the things that have really helped keep her moving forward.

I am Lauren. I am Tatum’s little sister, the wise, practical and totally awesome one. I am 26, very single and searching for my Mr Right…it seems that fellas over six foot one don’t cross my path too often. I also have very large feet and am absolutely petrified of moths.

Not that long ago I was morbidly obese. I tipped the scales at 160 kilos and my size 24 tops were getting tight, I’m 186cm tall, so to end up weighing that much was pretty easy- there was plenty of space for fat to hide.

One day I saw a photo and it blew my mind at just how big I had become, I was disgusted at myself and it kick started the decision to change my life.

Over the last two years I have lost 50 kilos. A mammoth effort and one I am very proud of.  I am certain that I wouldn’t have been half as successful if I didn’t have an amazing support team. Especially super trainer Stefan who I have adopted, and now happily label him my brother.

Together with the weight loss, the general life changes I have made through the journey are things that make me even more proud.

I had the confidence to leave the job I hated and embark on a new career path.  I have found something I am proud to do, working within the health and fitness industry.  I have always wanted a career where I could help others and doing something where I am introducing people to a different lifestyle is very exciting to me.

I've made new friends with similar ideals.  I find that having like-minded friends is really uplifting.

The changes I have made have not come without hurdles, often in the form of criticism or jealousy.  It it is hard to deflect negative attitudes when they come from people you care about.  I have drifted from other friends because I found that my new lifestyle seemed to make them jealous.  I am proud that I have continued on my own path despite these sorts of external barriers.

One thing I am proudest of is how physically strong (like donkey kong) I have become.  Two years ago I wouldn't have imagined that I would ever be incline leg pressing 240kg or training to run 21.1 kilometres.

There are many different directions you can take when it comes to losing weight, but for me the best thing has been to change my mindset, and looking beyond the numbers.  I think the biggest change came as a result of making small daily changes which in turn have made a long term difference to who I am and the way I live my life.

Drinking more water, cutting out processed food and being mindful about what you are putting in your mouth, rather than completely denying yourself the foods you love are all great starting points for changing your lifestyle instead of being forever on a 'diet'.

Another thing that I think is essential to achieving a big weight loss is to break that seemingly huge number down into smaller, bite size numbers.

When I first jumped on the weight loss bandwagon, I wanted to lose 70 kilos, after five kilos I gave up and put it all back on, plus some more. When I sat back and looked at where I went wrong in those first few weeks I saw that HUGE number and realised how scared I was at failure so I let myself give up before I got too far in.

By focusing on smaller numbers instead, five kilos at a time made it so much more do-able and easier to visualise.  By monitoring my food intake and exercising frequently means that when I look back, losing fifty kilos hasn’t really been that difficult. It was just ten small blocks, five kilos at a time.

Keeping yourself interested and moving forward has been another key to continued weight loss.  Whether, like me, you have a large number to loose or are focused on becoming fitter and healthier changing up your routine, trying something new, pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone and proving that you’re unstoppable from time to time is so important.

Looking ahead to 2013 I feel that I still have quite a way to go, but that is ok. Always having something to work towards is good for momentum.  This year I will lose that last 20 kilos, I am going to Vietnam in July and I plan to be well under 100 kilos by then.

In my opinion setting goals and making plans is essential to success, it gives you something to focus on and aim for removing the stress that can come from the picture and numbers.

This year I am running a half marathon, something that I didn’t think I would ever consider doing, let alone announce my intentions out loud in the national press last weekend. I have worked with Tatum to come up with a running plan and by adding a bit of distance every week I will complete the Gold Coast half marathon in July 2013. I am also planning on working towards becoming a certified fitness professional and by the end of the year I will be teaching RPM, with a larger goal of becoming a personal trainer.

Thankyou so much for sharing yourself with us.

If you are keen to follow Lauren as she works towards her 2013 goals you can find her blog, A Little Bit of Me, here and see what she gets up to each day on Instagram.

Tatum xx