from somewhere in my imagination

The Bedhopper

Our smallest person has an aversion to falling asleep in her own bed.

Lilli's bed is her favourite place to snuggle up and go to sleep.  Sometimes she'll ditch Lil in favour of a cuddle with Charlotte.  Although she seems to go to sleep much faster in Charlotte's bed than Lil's.  She only creeps into Sebastian's bed so that they can continue with whatever they were doing before bedtime, so usually I find them reading more books.

It's actually pretty cute and I love that they like each other enough to want to cuddle up in bed together or have a 'sleepover' in someone else's room.  These are the kinds of memories of their childhoods I will treasure.  I've seen the four of them through enough ages and stages to have learned that things work best if we just go with the flow and work within guidelines rather than hard and fast rules.

Some things are just not worth a battle.

On nights when J has fallen asleep in someone else's bed we untangle her from them (she's a close sleeper) and pop her back in her own bed before we climb into bed ourselves.

We regularly find her in our bed by morning.  Did I mention she's a close sleeper?  She usually wakes me up when my head falls off the side of the bed because she's pushed me off my pillow.

We've never done the co-sleeping thing but we have never been opposed to the kids sleeping in our bed.  We upgraded from a double to a Queen after Sebastian was born and we were regularly waking up with both Lillian and Charlotte in the bed. 

Nights where the kids have fallen asleep beside us have been few and far between but I value my sleep too much to have a no kids allowed rule.  I rarely wake up if one crawls in and they usually only get taken back to bed if they are taking up too much room.

We wake up with one or more kids in the bed about 3 times a week, sometimes more in winter and less in summer.  I love that they like 'sleeping over' in one another's rooms.  It makes me happy to find one curled up with another.  It doesn't make me happy to wake up to Sebastian and Jasmine fighting in my bed over who woke up first.  Thank heavens they can turn on the TV themselves!

A sleepy Miss J is sitting here next to me as I type, it's nearly 10pm.  She had a sleep at daycare today so she wont sleep now and will probably fall asleep at some inconvenient time tomorrow, but I'll roll with it.  Because chances are I'll wake up with these little arms wrapped around me and I'll look at her.  If she wakes up she'll put her hands on the sides of my face and say I love you mummy.  Or I'll have to wake her up and she'll squeal at me about not wanting to be awake yet.  Because that's how she rolls.

I'm ready for bed myself so I'm going to tuck her in between us because I suspect that is the only way she is going to close those big blue eyes anytime soon.

Do you let the kids crawl in with you or do you take them straight back to their own beds?  Or, are you like me and you don't even wake up when they climb over you?

Tatum xx

11 Things I've Learned About Being a Working Mum Again

After six months of working part time again I am slowly starting to get the hang of things. I worked pretty much full time for much of the time Charlotte and Lil were little but had only done small packages of contract work in the 4+ years we lived in Roxby.

Now after all those years spent wearing jeans and Pink boots to work on a minesite I'm getting dressed up and heading to work in the city three days a week, and I'm loving it.

It doesn’t matter how organised you are, the kids will still get ready in their own sweet time. Nagging them does not make them go faster but it does, at least, keep them moving.

The best way to learn to walk in heels is to start small and work your way up. Much like ugg boots in public, wearing sneakers to and from work is rarely a good look, but then again nor is falling on your arse in public…stick with ballet flats if you are unsure of your capabilities.

Mummaguilt never goes away, it gets pretty agonising when a child doesn’t like school/kindy/day care. Thankfully dislike of day care has never been a problem for us.

There comes a time in a child’s life when it is okay to expect them to put their own lunchbox in their bag….and take it out again at the end of the day.

If you catch public transport, better face the fact you are just going to have to learn how to run in heels.  Your morning routine WILL be timed down to the minute.

Being at work during school holidays sucks.

It’s totally worth those ten extra minutes making lunches the night before, leaving them until morning backfires 99% of the time.

No matter how bad the mummaguilt is being able to eat/shop/people watch undisturbed during your lunch break is actually pretty awesome.

Getting dressed up is fun, until it starts to get cold…then wearing all those layers starts to get annoying, and expensive.

It’s okay to be selfish with the time you do have at home by yourself (what’s that?) and with your family…that goes for all mums…use it wisely.

There is a happy medium there somewhere and you can find it, it might take some trial and error but you should never beat yourself up because you aren’t wonder woman. I haven’t actually met the woman who ‘does it all’ on the outside who feels like she is wonder woman on the inside.

Tell me your best working mum tips...what are the best and worst things for you?

...and a special hello if you are visiting me via today's article in the Adertiser.  I have blushed several times already when people have commented on my photo :)

Tatum xx

Mean Girls

Recently I deleted The Real Housewives of New Jersey from my IQ, I got sick of them and their constant bitching.   The other night I watched the first part of the Real Housewives of NYC wrap up, I couldn’t help but think that they are nothing but a bunch of mean girls.  I don’t think I’ll be watching the next season.  I’m over the train wrecks and I’m sick of seeing the mean girls.

I’m fed up with the unbelievable self centeredness and complete inability to actually take the time to listen to another person let alone actually hear what they have to say.  I’m not giving the mean girls the time of day anymore.  I’ve got better things to do with my time, as entertaining as the drama can be it doesn’t deserve my attention any more.

Over the years I’ve experienced my fair share of mean girls.  These days I’m happy to accept that not everyone I meet is going to be my cup of tea and that, likewise, I’m probably not to everyone’s taste either.  It doesn’t bother me and I’m happy to spend the time and energy looking for the diamonds that real friends are.  I do, however, take the time to be nice to people I meet and include them when it’s appropriate to do so.

What does bother me is that grown up women still think it is okay to be mean.  Sometimes this happens unintentionally and through lack of forethought.  However, there are times when it happens intentionally.  The deliberate and obvious exclusion of others just doesn’t sit well with me.  Some of the deepest wounds I’ve had inflicted by ‘friends’ are the ones caused where I have been excluded, be it deliberately or without thought.

As my girls are getting older and more socially aware I see that I have one daughter who easily and happily merges herself into a wide variety of social situations.  The other is more like I am on the inside.  Awkward, shy and never quite sure what to say around new people.  In truth, people who have know me well probably don’t see me that way but it’s taken years of practice to build that exterior, trust me.

One daughter is hurt easily, the other tends to move on and build bridges.

Earlier in the year when we had all the troubles at school with Charlotte she had fallen prey to a mean girl.  Another girl, who saw where Charlotte’s weakness lay and how she could creep in through the cracks and exploit it.  In reality the mean girl was most likely a really unhappy girl but I couldn’t let her hurt my daughter….so we chose pretty much the only option left available to us and changed her to a different school.

The new year brings another new school, this time for both girls, and I hoping that we are building a solid foundation of resilience and knowledge that they are awesome for both girls to build on.  Something to give them the tools to navigate the world, knowing how to cope with the mean girls, find the many diamonds there are to uncover and be kind people themselves.  I’ve taught them to include not exclude, it’s okay if they don’t get along with everyone but it’s important to take the time to see the perspective or others and work alongside, if not with, them.

Me, I won’t be giving the mean girls any of my energy.  I’ve got better things to do and plenty of diamonds to spend my time with.  I'm sharing what's in my heart this morning.  I nearly wasn't going to but Eden inspired me to.

What are the qualities you most want to instill in your children to help them navigate the world of friendships?

Tatum xx